Moonlight Meeting 16

Page 20/20: Yep, she's definitely staring at Toon, wondering why he...what? Ran away from Ma'am Maralyn? Or does she know about his GPA slipping, or perhaps even why it slipped? The mystery has touched Kao, Ma'am Maralyn, and now this girl, yet their reactions seem different. And who is this person holding the papers with Sports Day written on them...the Sports Day that Toon should be dominating at ping-pong...that he doesn't seem to care about?

Okee dokey, a recap! Since is a writing feedback group, I'll concentrate on the story aspect. Nicely done so far in establishing Toon the protagonist and his point of view, while leaving the reason why he has no hope for the future hidden. It is clear that those near to him are concerned: Kao as classmate friend (possibly a rival?) who understands why his grades are slipping, but not why he doesn't care; Ma'am Maralyn the art teacher, who apparently is a tutor and concerned with his grades as well; and this girl who knows him, and wonders why he is...running away? Not sure what she is puzzling over yet. Obviously, 20 pages being like one written chapter, we won't have all the answers yet. But these that I've read have certainly piqued my interest in the story about Toon, and who is to be his romantic interest. I detect a hint of tragedy in the way Toon doesn't care about his GPA, or college, or even the upcoming Sports Day, where he should be training on his ping-pong skills. These "hooks" that inspire further reading are well done, and we learned a bit of background on each character!